ken's bars

Monday: whoopsies

happy spring break girls! today we had practice at 9 but i have been in significant pain so i showed up early to go see the trainer. when i arrived everyone looked so incredibly deathly ill??? i don’t know what happened in 2 days but the girls did not look good at all. i went to the trainer and learned that i actually was not allowed to play for practice… which sent our defensive coach into a coma considering we have a game in a couple days. 

my inner knee kinda feels like someone is pulling it across my knee and out. and apparently thats not normal… i did some dodges to help defense work on staying with an ally drive. after i finished that i cleaned up the field and went inside early to wait around for lunch. we got our panera lunch order, mine is a mozzarella chicken pepperoni flatbread with a cookie and chips. i’ve been starving recently so i devoured it before walking home and taking the best nap of all time.

since we’re on spring break we have a lot of 2 a days, and for today we had boxing lessons with our coach’s uncle from philly. which sounds weird but i’m 99% sure she said he’s a professional boxing coach. we had a lot of fun and i was able to channel a lot of my anger in those gloves. 

i left early to go see the team doctor. one of the freshies and i had to see him and unfortunately she tore her ACL and MCL : ( literally heartbreaking. i feel like that’s THE worst injury to endure as an athlete. it’s either ACL or something that’s like not treatable… either way everyone pray for her please ! 

my visit to the doctor was pretty quick. he started bending my knees to understand where the pain was coming from and told me my knee was swollen which… don’t judge me… i didn’t know??? so i can’t play until the swelling goes down and i get an MRI to see if anything else is wrong. but essentially the main diagnosis is good ole tendonitis. how fun. 

we went to our teammate’s apartment for pizza and wings and then disaster struck. you know when you have a very simple task to complete but you lose all of your essential items that would make the task easy… no? okay well i was ready to end it all because i lost my bag with my wallet, room key, and student id. and then my phone died. so i had zero connection to the people i was with and we were all separated, i had no way to get into my building… it was just not ideal but eventually i found my roommate and everything was solved. 

i went home and ended up hanging out with an estranged flame of sorts (the grand reunion y’all missed over the weekend). our friends just hung out with each other for the night and we talked and laughed all night.

Tuesday: mint chocolate chip on top

grand rising beautiful babes. today was technically travel day for our connecticut game but my attendance was up in the air because it was entirely dependent on when i could get my MRI and x-ray in. i went to the training room to ice my knee and get a compression sleeve. while i was in there i learned that my appointment was scheduled for tomorrow at 1:30… so i will not be traveling to connecticut today. but!!! i found my backpack!! so wallet, room key, id, beats, and everything else was found. 

it’s been super gross and rainy outside but i threw on our massive team sideline jacket and headed out to essentially just clean up the field again… i went on a very successful ball hunt and then went inside to get dry. my teammate drove me home to shower and drop off my travel bags because.. i was not going anywhere : ) after i showered i packed my other lacrosse backpack and walked back to the athletic facility to get my tropical smoothie lunch. i’ve never ordered their lunch but i was only hungry for the smoothie so i downed it. i said bye to everyone and dropped off some equipment on the way to hang out with my old friend until i got hungry again. by the time i was hungry i needed to warm up my petso chicken sandwich so i trotted back to my dorm to put it in our air fryer and shower rq before heading to our mutual friend’s apartment. i ate my entire tropical smoothie meal and that sandwich is actually delicious. like top tier food option. oh my goodness tropical smoothie can do no wrong imo. we ended up all craving a sweet treat so our friend ordered everyone ice cream, which incited a very intense flavor debate. i worked at jeni’s so i know a little bit about ice cream flavors, because you have to be flavor certified and jeni’s has a lot of unique flavors. strawberry simply does not compete with mint chocolate chip idc what anyone says. the winner is a mint chocolate chip because it’s the best ice cream flavor, no room for arguments. thank you! thank you!

we watched the mandalorian until i started getting super sleepy. we got to my fav episode before i decided it was time for sleep. the best episode of the first season is 1000% ep 6. i just love the obvious complicated past that starts to piece together as you meet the characters and idk it’s just good everyone should go watch pls i beg. 

Wednesday: kenny vs howard hospital

happy MRI and game day! i woke up and headed to burr at 12:45 ish to get my paperwork for the hospital. i had 3 packs of fruit snacks before walking to the hospital… by myself… in the rain… which really is kinda miserable and depressing. i was talking to myself the entire walk because SOMEONE needed to comfort my mind and no one better than me. when i got there the security guard asked if i swam or played tennis… and i was like “oh, i play lacrosse!” and she pointed at me while nodding as if that was going to be her next guess… i am almost 90% sure lacrosse was not even on her mind but whatever. it took me an hour to get to the room for my MRI and idk what was wrong with me (i had fruit snacks for breakfast) but i was about to rage and destroy the waiting room. and like genuinely i was so antsy and irritable ? i might’ve been overstimulated and i felt unclean soerrr i fear i was simply losing it. 

i felt much better once they took me back for my MRI which is surprising because i’ve been dreading it. something about being in a big room, with a loud machine, for 30 min, alone, just doesn’t sound that enjoyable? i got my lil gown going and one of my friends said i looked like polar express girl… and yk fair. hurtful. but very fair. taking flicks and sending them to my friends helped me calm down before i literally knocked out for a 30 min nap. they gave me some headphones and it was lights out after that fr. that was the best nap i’ve taken in a grip. 

now it’s x-ray time! this appointment went by very quickly and the doctor was very kind. hated this room though? it gave abandoned vibes because it was dark and the cabinet was broken on one side. but hey last appointment until i was home free.

i ordered chipotle and called my parents on the way home. when i got back to my room i literally crashed on the floor and inhaled my quesadillas before showering and getting ready to go to my friend’s apartment again. i helped him food prep for his pookie (my good friend) and then planned to head to the athletic facility for treatment but on the way there i realized no trainer was there. but! figuring that out also gave me so much good news! no tears! no breaks! my MRI and x-ray came back good. so i’ll be back to playing next week! i went back home to wash the dishes, put away my clothes, do some internship work, and then got really excited to do my makeup and take flicks? side effect of my meds includes me being really confident, and i wish i was kidding but that’s literally listed on the side of the bottle… so anyways i took some really cute pictures with my hair curly because i think i’m going to get it twisted next week. 

Thursday: it’s your mf birthdayyy

after treatment i headed home to do some internship applications and i posted on my story but i hyper-fixated on picking the right song for my story for like an hour?? i needed it to fit perfectly idk i was being weird. but shortly after i finished working on apps i got a call from my friends asking if i wanted to bake a birthday cake to celebrate one of the friends we’ve been hanging out with this week. i obviously said yes, i love to cook and bake when groceries are free and i don’t have to wash the dishes. i used this occasion as an excuse to get ready because it’s my favorite thing in the world y’all know this. 

there ended up being a miscommunication with time and trying not to wake up my roommate so everyone in the surprise cake committee ended up doing skincare in my suitemate’s room for a good 15 minutes before leaving to bake. me and my good friend really killed the batter! everyone kinda knows my favorite part about cooking is mixing everything together so everyone lets me do that part which is really sweet. 

once the cake was baked i realized that i was actually starving. like starving starving. but then i remembered the freshies were cooking tacos at my suite so i ran over to my dorm really quickly to steal a taco before running back to our friend’s apartment. on my way back i ran into the birthday boy and our friend’s doordash driver so i kinda killed a couple birds with one stone… except nothing was significantly made more efficient so idk really… i think- i’m just gonna count it though because… i want to?

we ended up playing quiplash and tee k.o which was so nostalgic because my senior year one of my classes became addicted to jackbox on a class trip we took. i love how the more personal you get the funnier it is because everyone can sit around and laugh at everyone’s public trauma! that is not sarcasm. i pinky promise, it’s actually fun. 

we played until we all got sleepy and one of my friends actually fell asleep which really meant it was time to go. 

Friday: live laugh love therapy

practice was scheduled for a lovely noon today! so i headed to our athletic facility for treatment where i literally stayed for not even 40 minutes because the trainer had to go and manage practice so i just did my exercises (i cannot spell this word for the life of me.) before eating some snacks and going home! 

waiting for me at home was a heavily anticipated and much needed therapy appointment. if you read kenny coded last sunday you know i’ve been very emotionally… distressed? uncertain? scrambled? all of the above? i was expecting her to really drill me for some of my recent questionable decisions to make amends and start hanging out with a person who did me really dirty. but to my surprise she was very understanding and almost supportive? idk she helped me sit with my actions more comfortably and encouraged me to pursue whatever will benefit me in the end. also i was really feeling pressured by the judgement i was receiving and she kinda alleviated that weight too. shoutout therapy it really helps you cope and accurately conceptualize your stresses. so listen! when you’re young it’s okay to make quick thrill based choices (as long as their safe, pls be safe) if they’re not detrimental to super important things in your life. still be smart obviously, but feel free to have fun with limited consequences. and i was like so nervous to talk about my week on my own blog because i was like “oh people will be mad at me”… but one of the main reasons i started my blog was so that i could be authentic without feeling badly about it? let me be a girl. i love y’all, i promise i’m not going to die. 

after therapy i showered and got ready for our team dinner! our coach was picking up me and my roommate along with a million other people? so we shared a seat and listened to drake the whole way there ❤ 

Saturday: a different kind of game day

happy game day! except i still was not cleared to play so… i fear i was getting ready to do a lot of game maintenance. it was raining, and it’s been gross and rainy all week pretty much so was i surprised? no. but still very very upset about it. 

my tummy was very upset when i entered our athletic facility, so i made the executive decision to just grab my breakfast later and go straight to the team meeting. the meeting was pretty concise and i left early with the other members of injury reserve to set up the field. i grabbed my smoothie on my way outside and once i actually felt the rain i decided to just assign myself box duty. i set up our ladder drills and then headed up to the top of the bleachers to sit inside for the next 3 hours. 

our audio has been really weird for the past couple of home games so i spent majority of warmups going in and out of the box to check on how the warmup playlist was sounding.  

once the game started i helped with stats because i feel like they’re very hard for one person to do all by themselves. everything happens very quickly so i was just blurting out each stat followed by the number and team that completed it. even with 2.5 people helping out and a pair of really good binoculars, we definitely missed some things. 

during half time i facetimed the freshie with a torn ACL and she was tuned into the game while she was showering… and i just wanna say her dedication is unmatched. 

after the game i headed inside to change my shoes and get my post game meal ! obviously because i worked so hard and i deserve it. we got panera lunch and i rushed to try to get a ride home instead of walking all the way back to my dorm in the rain. i ended up securing a ride for me and my roommate. when we got back we had a very quick suite talk about the game, i think my teammates are very overworked and tired. our game schedule was very packed and has been for the past 3 weeks. evidently it’s not great for our bodies but also we’ve spent our entire spring break around one another so i think the team is just overstimulated. my roommate took a nap while i spent some time actually sitting in my feelings and the choices i’ve made this past week and i came to the conclusion that i still don’t have any concrete yes or no’s? so i made a masterdoc of questions that would kind of help me organize my feelings. i got ready to essentially hold an interrogation (it wasn’t an interrogation) to get info on everything i have been curious about while we weren’t on talking terms along with some new questions that have arisen. 

i chatted with my suitemates about it and felt v confident! BUT these security guards decided to do their job for the first time since like homecoming and berated me over not having an id sticker so i had to literally hop a 10 ft gate (i have no clue how tall it is but it was very tall). once i got in i realized that the lighting is kinda slay, so i took some pics before going to chat.

i would say talk went well, i feel less anxious but still no concrete decision on anything… so! i’m not gonna rush a decision. and when i know, i’ll do something about it. but for now, i’m going to continue to prioritize myself and be a girl : ) no pressure!

BANGERS OF THE WEEK: 

SHE BY TYLER,THE CREATOR 

THIS COULD BE US BY RAE SREMMURD

GOTTA BLAST BY TAY-K

SUNSET BY LUCKI

WAY BACK BY TRAVIS SCOTT

DAFT PRETTY BOYS BY BAD SUNS

WHAT YOU KNOW BY TWO DOOR CINEMA CLUB

WAYS TO GO BY GROUPLOVE

LOVE HURTS BY PLAYBOI CARTI

A$AP FOREVER BY A$AP ROCKY