ken's bars

acting with your values first:

i practice this pretty much all of the time? and it wasn’t until recently that i really understood that this isn’t how everyone makes a choice… when making big decisions especially, i always center my values. like pretty much every time? primarily when it concerns how i treat interact with others. i do take a lot of pride in the way i consciously treat people. for example, if i’m ever in conflict (very rare), i really try to be the bigger person. because at the end of the day, i want to be very happy with the way i handled a situation. i don’t want to have regrets because i was too mean, didn’t hear someone out, or anything like that. i want to leave everything on the table (until it becomes detrimental to my mental/emotional health, then i leave the table), because if that person is just evil… a greater force will balance out their actions. everything ends up coming back to you. the good you put out comes back to you and those you love. literally over half the time i’m able to just breath after conflict is because i know that treating people kindly can only benefit you in the end. now i’m not saying i let people step all over me because that is not okay. but know whatever greater power you believe in has your back. 

to be loved is to be discussed:

there is something so endearing about being told you were mentioned in another conversation between people who care about you. i adore it. maybe because i am a narcissist?  idk maybe it’s because those people have no obligation to talk about you or be kind? so it proves they think about you and you’re positively perceived? am i a narcissist? no? right? it’s just endearing? like how kind! y’all chat about me? fr? y’all really love me? how kind!! eek! a lil screenshot or like “oh we were talking about you the other day” enough to put me on cloud 9 for at least the next 37 minutes. not even kidding. 

i heart business:

i worked an event at the school of business this past week and there was a really cool fireside chat. at first i was like omg i have to attend this event i had no clue about and now i’m irritated because it’s a hour and a half long. BUT it was so good i wanted one of my best friends from home to like facetime in. the fireside chat was between james rhee and tina byles williams, and i hung onto every single word they said. james rhee is a professor at howard among many other impressive things and tina byles williams is the CEO of a major assest management and investment firm. tina’s charisma was like top tier, i could listen to her tell stories all day but JAMES. JAMES RHEE. loved him. i wanna try to take one of his classes next semester. he basically stepped up as ceo of a black plus sized female fashion retailer to get the company the funding it was denied several times before. he was driven by his heart and his mom to utilitze the financial experience and business connections he had. and it just reminds me that in business it’s critical to stay true to your heart (CORNY CORNY CORNY). yes i know. but business is infamous for making cutthroat unethical decisions (thank u miss. capitalism) and you don’t have to do that ? you should use your morals to guide your decision making skills. (omg connection to my first yap sesh) this theme just continued to arise throughout the week, evidently. so you know! have good ethics and then be ethical. 

the art of speaking:

okay another note on this whole work day for school of business i realized that… i am a yapper. surprise to none. i literally made an entire blog just to talk more? but yeah, not the point. i have a habit of being awkward in semi professional/semi casual settings. like this during this job i was with very successful entrepreneurs from different HBCU’s and i was nervous that i wouldn’t be able to fit into that space? like i thought i was going to freeze and not know what to say… but then everyone there was a really fantastic conversationist and i relaxed. i fell right into the swing of things and asked a lot of quality questions. which was good because i spent a good 2 hours in awe (not in a creepy way) listening to their speaker and the conversations about their businesses they are running… at my age? it was very inspiring. and i think i’m going to start talking to strangers more often because for some reason that makes me soer uncomfy. i need to get over it. i had this epiphany earlier in the week actually and it merged perfectly with this moment of growth. i get so tense and self conscious when i’m by myself in public. but i am literally just a human? just like everyone else around? no one is better than anyone… it’s weirder to stand around, stay quiet, and not advocate for myself than it is to just speak up and be normal? so i’m just going to practice being uncomfortable by being normal in public for the rest of the semester.

creative spaces:

my last point on this school of business cohort work experience is about being in a room full of creatives. I WANNA DO THAT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. i want to constantly be surrounded by creative people. everyone was very kind and inviting? they made me introduce myself while i was following them around for social media content. they asked me about my major, lacrosse, howard, my future, etc. and they offered up like any and all resources they had? idk if i’m used to the gatekeeping at howard but i felt so enlightened. at the end of my shift i conducted interviews with a couple people in the cohort and we ended up chatting for like 10 extra minutes… (completely my bad i was asking a million questions)

first interview: i really admired how calm her energy was. every answer she gave was natural and well thought out. listening to her speak gave me some inspo ngl. she asked me where i got my malachite necklace and then offered to send me some jewelry?? i was like oh my goodness?? she helped me get really comfortable for the rest of my interviews. 

second interview: we chatted a decent amount earlier in the tour and he was j very sweet to everyone and a good talker. i think he might’ve been the first person to wave to me? after his interview we chatted about accounting for a little bit before diving into our respective creative journeys. he started with music (had to stop to talk about spotify and his album for a sec) and then got into fashion because of where he’s from. i yapped about my blog for a little before we realized that our creative journey’s actually had a very similar end goal. and it was really exciting to talk about? i have always been very protective over what i want kens bars to grow into but he mentioned that someone in his life said “not every idea is completely original, you should find the people who want to do similar things and work together” sum like that. idk. but for the first time i was like… maybe i’d be okay with potentially collaborating on my end business goal? we ended by discussing the cities we want to eventually move to and we agreed to meet up in new york one day. and i listened to his project: very good!

third interview: he mentioned being a student athlete during his interview so i started our conversation there. he used to pitch at his hbcu, i know nothing about baseball so i just asked a million questions about training, practice, etc. i learned a lot about the sport i once thought was boring ? i honestly think that might be the popular sport i know the least about, but now i might catch a couple games at home when i can. he quit baseball to devote more time to his businesses. so then we got into what businesses he ran. and oh wow. he’s crazy successful and owns a dating app with over 30k followers on insta. previously to the dating app he had a really big skin care company with his sister that they eventually had to sell because demand was too high. he invited me to record at his studio in chicago once it’s finished… say less. i will be there. with all of my friends. 

fourth interview: she talked to me very early on in the event too, so we got most of our chatting and social media exchange out of the way early… but i’m still gonna brag about her business! she owns an app dedicated to providing opportunities for undergraduate students, whether that be internships, scholarships, grants, programs… anything and everything. she had lovely energy and i appreciate her for being inviting.

i held a couple more after this but i had to leave and they had to leave so they were v short. the interviews should be posted soon? (not here, i’ll see if i can find the account and repost). all in all these interviews really centered my own goals for my career and creative journey. literally this group reminded me why i started this blog. so shoutout to them and divine timing because i have been slacking on posts for the past couple weeks.

the battles of possession:

i think i’m gonna write about this more? like poetry? we’ll see if i’ll ever get comfortable enough to put my work up here? but most of it is like spoken word… like on some real POI type stuff. if you did speech and debate: yes i know i did congressional debate but i always wanted to do POI for like one tourney. it’s where my heart lies fr. that’s besides the point. i used to be very comfortable screaming “my man my man my man” and that’s exactly how i ended up crying at social functions. i like to think that my behaviors and believes are unresponsive to negative experiences but i am human so… you know. people change people. saying the word “my” is like the hardest thing in the WORLD. i can barely type it. i really think it’s going to take me a while to be openly proud about someone or something i’m really excited about. on the positive? maybe this will teach me delayed gratification and humbleness? on the positive it’s definitely opened up several point of views i wasn’t previously aware of. i can relate to a lot more people and i’m less judgmental. i’m very thankful for that. i think this one change is really blatant to me because it’s very poetic? “my” is such a tiny word, but it holds a lot of weight. and the emotional tug that comes with realizing a habit has turned into a seemingly impossible goal is very complicated. building trust with those who betrayed you seems like a cakewalk in comparison to building trust with yourself. but alas, progress isn’t linear, healing isn’t immediate, and if you spend your time searching for results, you’ll miss the whole journey. or wtv they be saying. 

BANGERS OF THE WEEK:

WHY BY DOMINIC FIKE

NO ONE BY ALICIA KEYS

STEPPAS BY A BOOGIE WIT DA HOODIE

GET IT SEXYY BY SEXYY RED

YEAH GLO! BY GLORILLA

25WAGG3DOU2 BY LANCEY FOUX

MONSTER BY CHIEF KEEF

BACK ON MY BS BY BIGXTHAPLUG

LOYAL BY CHRIS BROWN

CINDERELLA BY FUTURE AND METRO BOOMIN